Have you read the Ookla Speed Test Global Index yet? According to this report, Australia now ranks globally for Internet speeds at number 55. For the lucky country, that’s a shocking stat and Team Uniti is not happy about it!
Now of course, we’re not the only ones rolling in the slow lane. Our good friends Kazakhstan and the United Arab Emirates are right down there with us (54 & 56 respectively). So, we thought we’d invite them for a quick cuppa to share notes on what life is like with super slow internet.
Downloading anything requires military-like planning.
Planning a Friday night movie? Better start downloading the Monday before! Just ask the poor bloke who didn’t get the memo and is now watching his download progress creep upwards, incredibly slowly. “Helllloooo….why is this taking forever?…” Rookie mistake mate.
Pfft! What a luxury! Yes, you would love to play the new PubG but sadly, your slow internet is being a party pooper. Netflix isn’t an option either when your download speed ranges from 2Mbps to never-gonna-happen. We recommend you take up underwater knitting as an alternative.
You’ve picked up a few new hobbies while waiting for your videos to buffer
Speaking of underwater knitting…
Can we also interest you in a game called ‘how many buffering circles can you count before you get dizzy’? It’s a hoot!
Disclaimer – This game may or may not result in you slamming your computer against the wall. Then dropping to the ground from dizziness.
Video calls are mostly you asking the other person if they can hear you
“I CAN’T HEAR YOU PROPERLY – YOU’RE CUTTING OUT!!” Sound familiar?
Well, you’re not alone. The Kazakhstanis tell us it’s a common saying in countries that rank 50-something in a global Internet speed survey.
You know what that means… It’s time to dust out the old paper & pen and figure out where your nearest post office is.
Free public WiFi is the only thing holding your online life together. Barely.
Cafes and public libraries are a godsend, and at this stage you don’t care how many lattes you have to buy to enjoy the privilege. You could also kiss whoever decided to add free WiFi in the CBD. Great idea and you’re all for it!
But wait, there’s light at the end of the tunnel!
If you live in SA or VIC, you no longer have to tolerate slow internet speeds! It’s true! We’re an NBN alternative, delivering Super-Fast Broadband with download speeds up to 100Mbps. Yay!! And yes they do exist.
Because we know happiness is Super-Fast Broadband, we’re giving you 90 day FREE when you sign up to a 24-month plan, and with our 30 day money back guarantee, what have you got to lose? Check out our plans here and connect today.
Go on, do it! Leave the other 50-something rankers in the dust (we’re looking at you, Kazakhstan and United Arab Emirates).